crucible or crux? it's a holographic universe, right? i heard it was. there's usually one thing that acts like a portal or a lens or a crucible or a crux or a mill say to grind the grist of life. and it can get obsessive, and it may lead to spiraling out of control or getting hopelessly esoteric, or ranting mad. or it might help a lost soul to begin to try to figure stuff out or at least live with a modicum of integrity in the forsaken world.