i'm still in a weird mood. it may be the smoke brain. am i gonna read marcel proust's seventy-five portfolios and other unpublished manuscripts before i read remembrance of lost time? i started reading it and stopped, it was too daunting somehow, maybe it's not my cup of tea, or madeleine. or maybe the unpublished manuscripts will lead me into the magnum opus. it's terms like that that make me nervous. oh what the hell, i'll try.