i was wanting to talk about my studio and i looked for a picture called studio or apartment and this came about, and it's saturday and it's my saturday boy and i'm sitting here while r. is out bird watching and since mister isn't here and i'm with him, yet i am here. 

i felt good that i have a partner who helps me with the practical stuff as well as love. we went there and made space and vacuumed the dust with her mom's old dirt devil and it felt good to get a little anxious and annoyed and to allow space for that and then hug in that space where some very troubled time passed with raging neighbors and a plague of mice just like in a bad dream but real all night and the windowpanes fell out and there was never a hot shower and the ceiling leaked like a tiny waterfall. and when we came home and were eating chili and watching the poles melt on screen a text came from my neighbor i never met asking if i wanted the exterminator and i was soul glad we went there and saw there were no mice, because i had fixed the place. i remember being here wondering if the mice were active in my empty place, and yesterday we saw my sofa bed looked like i'd just left it a year ago and still there are no mice. and now i think i can leave the past while keeping the space where i lived and where i now live, which is here, where not only i but the warm ghost of mister, and where together we can say we are still here.

the title of the picture was something about i want there to be more than one world, one where my apartment is clear. and clearly there is more than one world, in the sense that we each have an inner world, and there are manifold layers to this one world we share.