the refrain of the song that goes don't murder me, i beg of you, don't murder me. please, don't murder me is the refrain in my head today. carla said you are not an optimist when i said i knew the weather was going to change after balmy sunday. a realist i said, i read the weather by being in it. i vacillate anyway between pessimism and optimism—the through line might be realism, but who can say, it's only real to me. a poignant refrain though. why is it so often all i retain is the refrain. because the song often disappoints and is forgotten. the ghost refrain remains to haunt my brain. lulu is the unofficial extinction rebellion us girl. people say, i know that girl, hey, that's the extinction rebellion girl! i wrote to margaret flowers and sent a picture of extinction rebellion lulu. i know, don't wait for reply, m.flowers is busy. maybe she'll see my girl and smile.