one more from skokie, plus one from before. sarah said it looks like you had a good time! when we stepped into the alley i looked up at the trees and the telephone lines. r. said sad, isn't it? or no, not sad for you? i said sad, yes, it is. sad. when sarah said that i thought how interesting. it was sad to feel the empty space trudy once filled, all her plants and preserves, 
all the things she saved, the layers and layers of memory. now the place is empty, nearly, and trudy's memory is empty too. and she's in california now, a place i kind of associate with the end of the conquest of america, and the edge of memory, where it falls into the sea, or where it may settle, and where it may finally burn. i feel the emptiness in the pit of my stomach saying this. yet the feeling of clearing the place with r., being a small part of that arduous process, was right feeling and good, and i am coming to know how we are all parts of the same puzzle of existence, all fitting, though some parts may get lost, still, in the flux of memory and loss, we are the caretakers, we who are left here to puzzle over existence.