sorry kids, i'm so doom and gloom. i guess i don't even see how bad i am. i thought i was just doing what i always do, talking about my feelings and what's going down, the human crisis. i do hear myself sometimes. but i hear myself as lamenting the state of things and yearning for a less hateful society with respect for and love of life. i wish i could be lighter. i've always felt guilty for suffering, for weakness, depression, for not being able to rise above the dark emotions, the anger at the gross manipulations of power and money and politics. the bullies. and in the end i always go back to the shame. there's something wrong with me, and i blame the world. sorry, world. i know there's a lot of good yet, but good is always under threat. all i can do is do what i do and try to be good and reflect when someone tells me i'm all doom and gloom. i take it all to heart, and i don't want to be bitter in my heart. i'd like you to read this whatever it is, but i understand if you don't want to.