my crib without me.

i sometimes dread going to my crib. it's so messy and i get mud brain in there. but if i look at it in pictures it looks different. i see the order in the disorder. r. said the whole room is one collage. i filled it up so that i had to step outside to see it. if i could get all the stuff that isn't needed out i might have a space to sit in my crib in my swivel chair and i might make some tiny collages again. 
while i looked at my crib and wrote this i was listening to civil rights lawyer flint taylor on his new book "the torture machine:racism and police violence in chicago". just for context.
and now this:
in just two years in office, donald trump is shattering obama’s bloody record on the number of drone strikes and the numbers of people killed in those strikes. (the intercept).
we'll never know how many people have been murdered by the u.s. government, but we know the number is ever expanding.