this was my last picture in a sequence of seventeen i was going to make a memorial to my old camera and give her a proper burial at sea. not really. since she (i'll call her she as she is a vessel and a water bearer) has died before i put her on the stove to dry. though this time you can actually see water sloshing in the picture window. i'm ready i think. i don't like change. change scares me. it remains from all the unwanted change of my growing up. there was nothing i could do save in my own mind. there, change is slow, change is more nurturing. i think my resistance to personal change is aligned with wanting the world to slow down, respect life, to see what we have done with our powerful urge to change the world. in human terms change is so readily subsumed into acts of war, into daily waste, into the death of nature. yeah, change comes to mean death in human terms, premature. i did not want the death of adulthood, i wanted to grow, i wanted to mature naturally, in time. not money. money i saw early was death. i saw through my father's eyes, and every government dedicated to money over life.
so all comes up with one death, even the benign death of a camera that in the money world of planned obsolescence and design for failure was a pretty good life after all.

if you like i will show you more. i will say more, or you can look at the pictures and lend your own thoughts about change and death and human technology, and the preservation of life that i heard this morning is starting to grow in a movement that will soon come to sweep the planet. and i hope to be here in it with my new camera in my old hand.