i want to become a spirit. i realize that's my only ambition, and all the vain bullshit of trying to get on with human society was just that. i really just wanted to be a spirit all along, though i didn't have spirit parents and that's why i get lost in this world of bodies. i'm also back to reading the yonomami book,  the sky is falling,  and wondering how they would access the spirits without the forest, the trees being the conduits. well surely it can be done in the city, though it's full of ghost bodies.

well mon frere we're not exackly free but we're lucky dogs, and there will always be the odd righteous bitch in the parks.

goddam camera is near dead i push the goddam button and it just beep like a fuckin pipsqueek or takes a picture later when it feels like it and the puet i got from laughing dog electronics is popping screws and the fuckin cd tray jams ah anyway i wanted this blog to be story and spirit and shit and it's so fuckin moribund isaw a heron right before my eyes against a lustrous upsweep of rain and cloud over water and my fuckin pentax preferred not. i am a bartleby i don't need a bartleby camera.