i dreamed of grifters and gaslighters. penny woke me at 5:30. i lost my dream again. it was a continuation of the day, day follows day, it continues, forgetting each night, discontinuing, continuing. thinking about mom, what she's going through, what i might do to alleviate some suffering, and it's all so unreal. what's real, my hunger, our hunger, dogs, grass, balls, and teeth. imagine starving to death, terrorized by monsters.