i remember the fake santa came to our split level house in deerfield. he grabbed and picked us up. i pulled his beard off finally, after a couple visits, and it was some guy named charlie i think. did he smell like booze, i think? i was tired of the show and tired of faking enthusiasm. but years later i was still faking enthusiasm, watching my half sister ripping through a mountain of presents waiting to unwrap my holiday sweater. for a few years after dad died his 3rd wife sent me his left sweaters. they still had the scent of him for a while, until his scent faded and now they mostly smell like me.