i think it's sure we're coming to the end of this civilization. america 

is fucked. it should end. it's been a long heartbreaker. it may be 

a violently protracted demise. it's an unthinkable plan.

bear walk 11. 10 to go. she was so excited when i came. her dad doesn't get 

it. a lot of people don't. can't let it break your heart. 

bear stares at a feather, touches it and pulls back in surprise. it moves.

it's strange how things end, in the middle of life it seems the end. the 

middle is everything til the end. there are a lot of endings. 

the big one we're still imagining. but in a way i feel it's already 

happened.

booker died today. r. was going to stay with him next week. he was only 

nine. heartbreak. first his mother died, then his sibling, and now dad is 

in the house alone.