today we miss our third swim and i feel blurred and crazy, lack of sleep and swimming, lack of sanity, lack of lake and keening wind all night. 
that show i recommended is ok, but. everything seems too much and not enough. i've felt for years that we the species, we the people, will never wake up, that what we pursue is innate, it's not true sleep, not restorative, and not a respite, it's a kind of slow species suicidal drift. which will only be slow in our minds, and until it becomes catastrophically quick, and not of our ignorant manufacture, like war. like collapse, like asleep at the wheel control, like the driver is driven, driven to collapse. we can create chaos, but we can't control it. 
anyway, i'm not too keen in the brain, i just feel. i feel overwhelmed.