my brother he doesn't want to think about the whole thing.

 he turns it off. he gets mad at me. 

he can't think of the big story, he can only think of family, his old doctor said he would die by 63.

i don't say it but it wants to say itself, why don't you put the smoking money in the jar for little james and stay alive and watch him spend it in the coming hard times. but i offer the money i surrendered of my dad's, and watch and see. 

i'm sorry i'm cynical brother, but i want to live, i'm glad to say, and be free of the real cynics, who destroy life in the home and planet.