not that i want an excuse, or only in part, i recall uncle mike saying there's a gene that makes him the way he is, and i knew it didn't help him. thoughts don't help being. acceptance and love may. i think the autism interest is in finding ways to communicate, how they do, because i feel the affinity with unwonted silence, the loneliness of being inside. i feel more when i don't talk a lot, but i want to communicate the feeling.