i still say sorry to objects when i bump into them. i still fall awake when i start to fall asleep. i still put stuff on dogs heads and take pictures.

i still burn up inside when a po-po tells me to put a leash on. i still forget to breathe deep in my nose 5 times. i still call them motherfucker sometimes out loud.

i still don't go to the dentist even though fen lost seven teeth and nelson the pug costed 500 for cleaning and removal.

i still long to be someone else sometime someone suave and debonair. 

i still like pop tops cuz of the sound even though i hated them then and i dont drink pop i like the sound of pop top on copp.

 i still cant recall my dreams when i get up to pee to save my life.

i still fall in love childishly with the ambivalence of an ancient.

i still act mystified. i still lose track of my train between stations. i still get nervous of white noise and silent humans (cuz of dad).

 i still have ideas that are like fixations.

 
i still give dad too much power.

i still call dad bastard. i still have his mole on my left side. i still straighten my back when i think of him.

 
i still hesitate to ask when someone's birthday is. i still forget everyone i know.

i still get fustrated with mister even tho he's perfect as he is partly cuz i like to get fustrated and i like the way xstine says it. i assume she still does.