i'm gonna miss maholynage, but r. will see. i get so local even downtown seems a journey.

i don't know how to be in a relationship. it get's lonely simple being alone you get inured to it. sometimes i thought i was alone too long i mean i thought yes i'll always be alone this little aerie nest of entropy will be my 3rd floor final rest, i've thought what if they just filled it with soil and plants and let it be a human departure nature room and later kids and bunnies and dogs could visit like to a macro living wunderkabinett. like that duchamp room, given: 1. the waterfall, 2. the illuminating gas... no, not a peephole eerie voyeuristic mind trip pigskin lined nude in barlight plastic filamental light optic arrested waterfall but a growing greeny reality room with maybe two box turtles. now i'm thinking that away, on the 15th floor across town with two cats and windsinging windowpanes and it's just an idyll. 
it's easy being with dogs. why is it a little shy-making to be in a relationship with a dog, and why do we get shy saying, i am in love with a dog, and why do we want more than that? apart from the obvious reasons, which are beautiful and which are obviously why and yet don't obviate the relationship i still have with mister with whom i am still in love. so be it. it's always good to close an openended word ramble with- so be it, i'll close now.