little bear is back, from the country to the city, from vacation to, not school, not work, but a little bear school, a little bear work, and it's like starting over, she's had a taste of the wild, and her olfactory glands are pumping, making a snuffling gutteral clucking sound, and she's perpetually on the trail of myriad small fauna and fragrances. it seems she's imbued with a flood of stimuli and hormones and buzzing synapses, like an adolescent. she was like a filly saddled for the first time. and i wasn't in good shape mentally, nor could i run with my sprained toe. but life and freedom and relation are all a struggle sometimes, and we have to give each other and ourselves grace when we are able, and abide when we wait for grace to be given. bear is a puppy and at the moment i feel like an old man, but between us we'll be ageless partners in time.