can't sleep. it's such a strange time. we shut the windows for the force of the wind and turn on the fan. my skin burns, why do i still get burned at my age. well granny rose was wrinkled like an apple doll except where her one piece was, her bottom baby smooth. skin used. some get cancer some don't, some get beaten some don't. we all live in the pandemic, some get the virus some don't. we all got the same government, some get the loot, some take the knee, some get the knee, some get the boot. rambling partly awake partly in dreams i can't remember worn out. read over half of recollections of my nonexistence. she talks of the wish to disappear and the need to appear. whatever we are doing here let it be about that, about revealing who we are. think, what are you going to do today. i'm doing this, for what. what next.