penny's in the corner by the atlases. she left her food unfinished when we broke down in the kitchen. jasper went in the closet. i came back in the bedroom. default mode. i'm no good in a crisis. i tried to read a terrifying article. i coul not process the dire science. this virus permeates everything. my mind collapsed. i fear the fear will overcome me and make way for the virus. what if the fear separates, rather than draws us together what will happen then. the fear replicates like the virus, the two become one overwhelming thing. i'm sorry i'm doing the best i can i know it's selfish it's not good enough i'm too weak for this.