the trauma in the news and in the weather seems an unending storm. i tend to seek the trauma and dissipate my energy. in therapy last week we talked of boundaries and how i didn't have them growing up and always felt afraid and unprotected. the dissipation leaves me tired and less protected, and drained of creativity. when we can't do anything to alleviate the trauma all we can do is grieve. if we are aware we can't be unaware, but we can have porous boundaries. with all the evil going on we need to grieve but naturally, we don't need to get into a pathological state of grief. we have to grieve what's happening in the world as it's happening to us, yet i'm in this warm apartment taking care of two cats and myself, looking out at the storm that i'm not suffering, that is going on outside and around me, that is one layer of trauma i can be subject to feeling, as though i'm suffering it when i'm warm and dry. the same for the concentration camps and the fires and the multiplying military misadventures. it's all happening and yet i'm here taking care of the cats safe from the storm. r. just sent a newsletter that addressed the same things she and i've been grappling with and it helps to hear how other people feel, and cope, and the immediate effect of reading is the realization that though i tend to withdraw and isolate (and write angry posts)—other people are grappling too, and intuitively reaching out each in their own way, to counter the collective trauma with something good in the spirit of peace and well-being.