3:52. finally i shut the door to the other room, put the pillow over my ear. still i hear. there is no other room. the sound moves right through. the walls, membranes. i remember once when i was too sad for sleep, i said, this is it, i will stay awake until i die of this. i'm still here, and the cat is too, beyond the door between the walls and the wind, crying, crying without end.