thinking about annie besant, i went to get the spiritual life from the lichen green chair by the bed by one of my crystals the one with sand at the bottom and r. said were you holding the crystal while you read annie? i said no, should i? ya could. i said the trouble i have with theosophy is the theo i think, the phallocentric god, him and his lingo. and r. said there is no male deity up in it, that's just the way they talk then, and i thought of g-ma rose reading the daily word and crossing out god. the rest of it's good, she said. mazing how different something reads when you take out something central that used to be near invisible it was so used. so i'll do that if i can. i also think of a lithograph by whistler of annie, i don't know who she was, not besant, but i was tasked with preserving her and reframing her. i put her in a bath to deacidify her and she dissolved and faded some and fabian was sad every time he looked at her and i felt awful though i always drank a beer and said i like her just fine, you'll get used to the fade. 
i'm just going to stop here as i see it probably is going nowhere.