something too terrible, for which there are no words: is it a trauma? is it actually something, or is it more like "nothing"? an infant sends out his radar, as her discovers how to look, as he discovers what is "out there", what is inside and what is "outside", without having words, or ideas that are more than shadows in the mind; as he discovers what is "me" and what is "you": as he forms habits of doing, and finds reactions "out there", eventually even confirmation- without a word for that- that certain things happen a certain way, eventually even that certain things he does cause certain reactions. an infant learns by bouncing his cries, his gestures, his impulses, against things and people- people who may be strangers, parents, siblings, or a twin, of course. what if the space he enters when he is with his first and original companion in the world requires him at all times to abandon any hope of having his self confirmed?

allen shawn,
twins.