my house i don't feel like anybody's absent (except for me). i was not thinking about the summer alone. i been thinking about it now. going back home. home that's always felt somewhat unhomely. yet strange comfort there in the unhomely. r. said, you can stay here if you want, but it may feel lonely without the cats. (and r.) i said i thought of splitting the cats and keeping jasper with me. but the cats would be lonely for each other. it seems some dislocations are unavoidable for now. home's where the heart is, but the heart must perchance be in more than one place.