i said i was here to bear witness as i was in my family when everything was fraught and concealed and i didn't know what i was witnessing or what a witness was and that i was here to do the same in a stilted and minute way on the earth as a boy-man but i hope that doesn't sound grand and maybe it's just a gloss on my pathetic private world of suffering, but in my reading and in my life with animals i feel a deep correspondence, that even if meaningless in the world, is true. i have to be human, i have to live with stupidity and evil, with evil predation, with antinature. i have to live with it, but i live within this human paradigm like an animal, sullied, pained but pure. that's what i retained that survives from childhood, the search for animal life, and the animal spirit that imbued me. all from one dystopian family nuclear romance.
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