Saturday, April 18, 2015

feeling awful. sinus impacted hollow toothache, i can hardly think and was grateful for copp who took care of himself. i know i have to go to the dentist and i know it will be really bad and i'm thinking magically knowing it and wishing my sinuses would just ease and the ache would too. they closed off the whole island now, it looks like a refugee camp. we opened the chainlink gate and went in anyway and others did the same, but the birders were absent. they took up the asphalt and i had a fanstay glimpse that everything was going to be alright, for i cannot stop magical thinking.

 maybe i'm taking too many pictures of fen and flowers, diluting the blossom appeal, but i want some kind of spring concupiscence, a profusion, i want to spasm flowers.

 comet's favored tree for browsing. later in the season the leaves go crimson. i think this is the first time he's had the fresh green leaves.

 for sally in mad men.
 comet, goat boy. i was thinking of giles goat boy by john barth though i only remember vaguely, was he a boy that thought himself a goat or a goat that thought himself a boy, or a hybrid, i don't know, i just felt that energy, the browsing curiosity, the piquant hunger, the new shoots, the roots in cool dirt.  earthy chimera, cheever's project of gin blossom suburban longing.

 i refused to push the mail cart. they let me go. when i got to the ground floor i felt very light in my shoes and i saw a stunning girl with a dress like a bell i wanted to ring.

 is this the best thing we're ever going to do?
 it was a surprise for me too, but yours masked mine.
 lady hill
 lilac wine sweet and mellow like my love
 my actual life.
 pain a small mountain that defeats. pain blots out all, meticulous pain, pain a study in reflection infinite and specific, pain in whose absence lives the humblest gratitude.
 pine cone derby.
 pine cone lady bug unicorn
 sentimental gentle wind. when i'm in pain he's such a comfort.

-that's about the size of it, copp.

 where we live.
 where's bambi?
goat, whither thou goest go i

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