i did a bad thing not closing the windows. i looked at this thing coming, and i saw it, but like the natives when the colonizers ships arrived, i saw, but didn't see, in a way, because i had never seen such a thing before, and my mind didn't know what it was, like with the natives, til too late, although there's no comparison really, i could have just gone oh, shit, and closed the windows.  i didn’t actually know until after it subsided and i read a post on fb, and later still saw the warning on my phone. hard to think in this unprecedented time. at the farmer’s market fred said he was driving and everything turned black. maybe there's another word for apocalyptic. maybe the word is catastrophic. for so long the end's been prophesied, monetized, and normalized. really all we ever needed was peace and a wonderful planet to live on.