speed of change. i can't help thinking all the prescription meds sped up his decline. i'd like it to be simply old age. there's no natural process anymore. the whole planet is ill with the toxic lifestyle of humans. 
anyway we have love. that's our nature now. and little oases where we can pretend to hide or pick up trash.  
but i love that people are rebelling the systemic extinction. while business as usual rages. and maga armies terrorize the borders, and even people of the status quo fear the military police state. 
i always felt vulnerable in this state of things that has gotten so much more violent and coercive and clearly lacks any feeling or respect for life. america is a menace we live within.
we've gone beyond coercion. this is a terror state. a global network of terror.
but the speed of change i began this with was the change come over mister. i always felt vulnerable, but i needed to protect him, i could only do so much. and today i realized i always felt protected with him, by his love and goodness. now i feel our shared vulnerability.
this morning i stopped a moment to talk with the neighbor who he always greets and he coudn't see us a few feet away, and he started running to catch up with me.