my heart didn't open like a flower, it closed like a flower in the cold. there's something more than weather. there's a depression in me. i'm a hole i fall into. someone could lift me out. i'm still in there. i could pull someone down. still in there. it happens in all weathers. it depends on the weather. the sun feels like a wish, and when it's gone, the wish is a sinkhole. i feel it trying to pull some light down. the world seems light as a flower, and unbearably dense. i feel entangled. reach for sunlight, sink into earth. all the metaphors, the meaning i try to glean, may bury me in vapor. if they don't carry me.