i just don't feel right. i just don't feel good. i could have mercury poisoning, from dentistry. did they know about mercury when they put it in silver, into my cavities? i read that tooth fillings decay over time, releasing heavy metals into the body and causing chronic fatigue, among other things. i am chronically fatigued. and my cynicism feeds on fatigue too, as well as all the toxins and propaganda in the environment. i think again i need to just do the walks and go home. focus on dogs and aesthetics. thinking about a culture of doom is too much cynicism even for a dark one like me. and if it is for me that goes doubly for anyone but the dogs who walk with me. i should have been a hermit in a mountain. what am i doing in this suicidally optimistic society.