as mister's eyes get older i wonder how well he still sees. sometimes i look at him when he lifts his head from browsing and begins to look for me. i'm not far, but i see him at first not seeing, then moving toward, sometimes at an angle going past me. when he sees me i feel the love and relief flow between us. this morning i threw his apple four times before he found it. he still stares at me ever so intently when i sit and blog, or when he wants my attention. today i carried him down the sea wall and as we walked around the point i watched him carefully place his feet, looking down into every crevice, lapping at tidepools. 
after an argument, or some new disgust, or when i see the changes the beloved body makes, i feel soft and tender, i want to do right. we live in such a cynical, hostile society, and i don't want to fight.