why do i feel guilty when i'm sick. am i faking it? is it from when i played sick to avoid school? did i mention before how me and roy once ditched 31 days of school and drank vodka typing notes on his father's underwood? how childish, but i don't have to go to school now. i keep on walking the dogs sick or not, so i guess my karma is not being allowed to be sick or play hooky either because i lied because school made me mentally ill. i remember at the law firm i used to brazenly say i was taking mental health days when they grilled me about being sick. you don't look sick... 
now i feel guilty for disappointing r. and not going to the down's kid's art show and blathering here, more guilt, and yet i'd be fine i think resting my thick head and reading about octupi. you see, it's a shame, other people don't have such karma or neurosis about being sick or mental health, do they? why am i so guilty? because i feel that way, that's all.
by the way, i really did feel sick about what me and roy did, every day added to the dread, until finally we were caught and mom was so humiliated she moved me to a new school, where i got busted for smoking dope. so you see how it goes with me.