it's a nightmare really, going back way before we were born, 
we're in it, and it's ours now, but it started so long ago with some nightmare pioneers, 
and we can't possibly start fresh, we can't possibly wake up, 
no one can wake up from this, because if you awaken 
you will be punished with the reality that this is a nightmare 
that we did not make, that we do not control, that can't be unmade.  
if i think for a minute it's starting to change my hopes 
are crushed again and i want to give up hoping forever.