sarah wrote about her brother the big game hunter's r.i.p. sale and sent the ad with all the pictures and i reacted viscerally, oh my god, that is horrifying, i love the macabre, but i think i would have a complete breakdown in that house. it looks like the home of a domestic terrorist. he was 58? the same age as me. what did he die of? i'm probably overreacting, i have a congested head and i have to leave r's so i don't make her sick. i'm sorry if that is offensive, it's a gut reaction, and he's your brother. i mean no disrespect, i sympathize, but that may be an offense too. 
oh, good, she says i wasn't overreacting at all. 
i sympathize with all his victims, sarah and the countless animals, though sympathy does little for the living and nothing for the dead.

postscript. an hour later, the raw weather penetrating my forehead, feeling more vulnerable each minute. i fantasize this being my last winter. what would that mean, death or paradise.
enough about the brother with guns, but one more thing, he really was a domestic terror as well as a terror to wildlife, drunk, he threatened to blow off the tip of his kid's ear for being late to xmas. oh come all ye faithful.