i was looking at a bookmark from the library 
for the coming solar eclipse. 
i thought, is that my dad's birthday?
r. said you can look it up on the blog.
i looked and saw a picture of an orange leaf
and a comment that it was for his birthday
before i knew it was his birthday. 
then a picture i said mister let's
take a picture for dad
and a white moth appeared above mister's head. 
it was the day before the solar eclipse.
then after the afternoon swim 
i had a circle shadow on my left eye,
like a water drop on my lens.
r. said did you look into the sun?
just as usual. 
now i think how long 
has it been there? 
i recall seeing movement in the periphery,
and then seeing nothing was there.
or brushing a phantom hair away.
it's coming, but it's here within.
it's inside looking out.
from such a thing, 
a coming eclipse, a drop
of the eye, a ghost spot roving
water sun shadow
may come a poem
someday
the day before, the preclipse
he was born
i don't know the day he died
father shadow blots the sun
i knew to be afraid
though i told the neighbor kid
in mount zion, look under the bed
it's only a shadow
i knew to be afraid not knowing
of what, what was before me
an afterimage before me
before my dad died
a shadow before me 
a rover
there will be a shadow before
the sun. it will be 
the earth. 
father will be son to the man.
what is i see sunspots
the rest of my born days?
before i saw an image
was forming in my brain.
from such a thing-
a coming eclipse-
i won't be ready.
i wasn't ready yesterday.
to go blind, but none of us
is ready for what is coming
it is always coming
when it's here. a blindness came
before me. i'm going 
to have to get used to it.
it could be behind my eye,
my eye eclipsing the observer 
behind my eye. 
so
what if
the coming eclipse
is permanent?
impermanence 
has haunted my vision.
if i go blind
will i be your shadow,
will i be your blind dog,
following your scent?
will you be my seeing eye?
will you still be my dog
if i go blind?