i went to the post office to change my address. it was dark and dirty. they said i could have mailed it in, no proof required. i rode on to the library thinking loudly this is brutal cold, how could i have ridden all winter? i'd be dead if i had to do it now. thankful. it's all confused with mom. we don't know how it will end. there's an inevitability to things. catastrophes. we're trying to do something right but it seems like there's a catastrophic will to our fates.