mister takes the stairs.

i feel bad and worse as i'm somehow moribund in my hurt self and my hurt blocks my empathy. what i felt this morning was something to do with a dynamic that seems defeating and maybe inexorable where outside pressure gets inside and forces people apart and makes opponents of us who are really allies and share the same interest. we are narrowed by the outside agenda, by the seemingly inexorable force, that in the moment seems to be the obomba center, but it's always more than that, it's personal history, as well as trump world. i've seen how outside forces can cause neighbors to war on each other, in neither's interest, in the interest of the corporate state military forces that thrive on war and the undermining of solidarity and peace. i may be extrapolating. i may be using a context outside of myself to understand an inner dynamic i can't address. that may play in this, but it may be the confluence of inner and outer struggle in a paradigm that simply erodes us as it erodes community, and the common environment. one thing that's clear about the probama propagandists is they want to make the protectors of green space out to be narrow minded white elitists, and i know that that is a lie, and that there is a coalition of many voices they would like to silence with aspersions and racist rhetoric. we want what we were granted by some grace and common insight long ago. we want the park, and we want the green open space to be open for all. we don't want the park and the neighborhood to be confiscated by the rich man. 
in the often hazy zones of intimate relationship, that may be a different story, maybe i am still too blind to see, but i get glimpses that it is all one, and the same story, and along 
with the story we receive we need to write our own. while the outside forces want to make it pay, can we remember that we are all just kids, and kids want to make it play.