what sustains us in evil time. hope. hope in what. i know why they say hope not in this world. yesterday was not just the shortest day and the longest night. it was the saddest birthday. 

i hid from the world. i watched the new cosmos. it got better to me. i came to love neil like i love carl. he has to reach a wide audience, but he is passionate and angry at the rulers of the world and the enemies of true science and peace. he rails against human hubris and ignorance. he begins to talk about the sixth extinction, but he wants us to know some of the wonders of the world we are losing and the ones we might someday know. 

i am sorry r. i tear up. it's confusing to be what i am and not know what to say.