you think you struggle, just look at jon katz. you ain't seen suffering. toughen up mister. 

i had a strange dream last night (groan). yeah, i was in a refugee concentration ice american camp. on the floor was that thick rubber restaurant mesh so you don't fall down, and secreted in the web holes were scads of little gold bits, fragments of jewelry, arts of watches, gold teeth maybe. i must have been one of the cleanup crew, or maybe i was invisible, i was one of the refugees nonetheless. i had some kind of conditional, provisional immunity, like a conferred invisibility. like a slave who would be killed if and when i became visible or too greedy or useless. 

we woke each other up from our separate dreams and had no recollections to share. except the above fragment. now i'll ask r. stay tuned. if not to my dream, then to your own.
i asked r. she said that was yesterday.