liberation while living. the whole drama of the universe in one body. salvation through works.
kundalini, coiled-up, feminine energy latent in every atom in everyone in the universe. it may happen the energy lies dormant, like roots waiting to leaf, through lifetime unaware.

i thought of falling and hurting my left side, the feminine side, is it so, and i have the sore tailbone now, lingering, is it the feminine, is it the snake of union desired, the snake coiled at the base of my spine, the knot i carry there, and is it karma work rooted in the time my companion killed my snake for me? i always felt drawn, always afraid, of girls, i wanted to be with them, to be with myself among them, to be myself with them.

i think of tying the knot, how i never dreamed i could, i think of a collage i made with words something like speaking of knots needing tied, think of the book i found yesterday, a swampy cree tale:

born tying knots 

when he came out, into the world,
the umbilical cord
was around his toes.
this didn't trouble us,
that he was tying knots that early.
we untied it.

later, he heard his birth
story.
it caused him to begin tying knots again.
he tied things up near his home,
tight, as if everything might float away
in a river.

this river came from
a dream he had.

house things were tied up
at night. shirts, other clothes too,
and a kettle. all those things
were tied to his feet
so they wouldn't float away
in the river he dreamed.
you could walk in
and see this.

maybe the dream stopped
because it was no longer comfortable
to sleep with his shirts tied to him.
or a kettle.

after the dream stopped,
he quit tying things,
except for the one night he tied up
a small fire.
tied up a small-stick fire!
the fire got loose its own way.


(told by samuel makidemewabe, translated by howard norman)



things rise together, many unseen things. in sailing school i was a failure at knots, and once when i sailed out on lake michigan i failed to turn the boat around needing rescue, i busied myself untying knots, have trouble that way too. there's a snake tied in a knot, closed circuit of psychic energy retained.
....
oi veyski, speak of knots needing tied!