kumar said mister has 70% health.  
good health, so 30% bad.  
bummer i said. then he said, guess what you have. 
50%, i said? thinking conservatively, wanting to low ball it.  30%, he said. 
fuuck me, i said, you mean i'm sicker than mister?
and i don't eat fish!
and he eats foreign objects!
can't win.
whoa, i don't feel so good.
maybe he's a mystic quack,
i sooth myself saying. 

p.s. i just emailed kumar to verify my stats, did he say i was 50% healthy and 50% sick, or 30% healthy and 70% sick. either way, i said, i was surprised to hear i'm sicker than the dog.