can't sleep.326. maybe i'm just too neurotic. my body feels alien. i'm a mess. insane. swarm of light out there, flashing blinking ceaseless senseless civilization. planets i can't identify. coffee argh why. and this horrific fascist regime. can't put that to bed. disgust, the deepest disgust i have ever felt in america. poor pitiful planet america. yes i'm neurotic. america's a nightmare. i hate my fascist land. we talked of what we do in the fascist country to live, to keep sane to have a modicum of happiness. i said the dogs, the walking, meditation, the practice oh god, love. it's not enough. i succumb, not like the democrats to the hatemongering warlords in power, i just succumb, i dwindle, i fade, i sit like a vague speck of a planet in a sea of light pollution, blinking, bleary, sleepless, void.