one of mister's bone carvings.

 i'm insecure about friends and having few i think of myself as a passing friend. i saw my wittgenstein friend i seldom do and i always talk too much because of long silence with dogs or talking gibberish. he's probably brilliant and in retrospect i feel dumb and think he may have been saying i'm narcissistic and egotistic though we were ostensibly speaking of brainstems like trump. i said there's healthy narcissism and pathology. trump's is like a cancerous mirror. his reflection he sees everywhere, like the emperor's naked ass clothing the world. mine is different in kind. but maybe my mirror's a little bit distorted. 
anyway every time he walks away i think it was abrupt parting and just kind of trailed off and i'm embarrassed, but maybe that's my narcissism. maybe he's embarrassed too. i write about stuff never thinking the people i talk about might be reading. is that narcissism or is it not?

i think i mo appropriate this bone.

a red-haired kid just came buzzing asking if the com ed bill reflected the wind turbines now. i said i don't live here. and when i went to ask he was gone and then i thought again about my wittgenstein friend and about my overbearing communication with some people. he said something about the importance of listening and i'm sure that was about me. or maybe not but i guess i feel guilty of poor listening. though only stylistically perhaps because i think i heard a lot from him and responded. i said i get a lot by antenna in my brain without all the bothersome minutiae today, and was he inwardly rolling his inner eyes? oddly enough, even if he's been avoiding me i think he likes me. i always think people roll their eyes. now i raise my eyebrows like my old man, like, ho-hum wateryagonadoo. i want to call out, but wait, are we ok? did that go well?