i said to laura, or i think i said, i may have just thought it, with my head under water, that this is a transitional time (like duh what time isn't) and that this transitional time feels unending, which is probably the definition of transition, so basically, blather to laura, but i meant something about ending unending that i can't articulate at all with platitudes. sorry sister.
i'm in my hidden place and i won't be loved here. i'll be loved by a dog, and family, who can't help themselves, but not a girl, i said. i was already old at 9. now i'm real old.