transitional lenses. got over the hump in Purity and i'm cruising the downslope on light feet and i like it. it's about totalitarianism and freedom i suppose, and about like overt stasi kind, and american corporate technocracy totalitarian. i thought on the point this a.m. that i Feel like i'm in a totalitarian state, emotionally , psychologically, soully, and it feels like in the book and my life, like a fucked-up family you can't escape because you're too young and ill-equipped to survve on your own. that's what it is in this infantilizing culture of conformity, planned obsolescence, the tyranny of corporate control and endless war for profit. totalitarianism, jonathan franzen says, is just Without Alternative. that's how it feels.