this is boring. don't read this. it's just my diary. i think about ambivalence and depression. i was contemplating another dog and realized i was nervous and ambivalent and often i try to push through that. i have to as i seem to never get over either. then i thought i am near saturation and another dog, who's blind and diabetic and snappish, may just be too much. i get nervous when i lose latitude. sometimes i don't want to rush, sometimes i want to stop and smell the flowers and take extra time with my dogs. sometimes i'm just lazy. and depressed, and need to go slow and tune in and get on with it. ok this is going nowhere dear diary i'm sorry i really wanted to say something and my head is full of yesterday's wind.

ambivalence&depression&laziness&love.