i'm anxious. what a beautiful morning. i forgot barney. sorry. i have to read oryx and crake and the year of the flood fast because maddaddam is on it's way. what if i don't like it? i'll go back to sweet tooth. there are so many books to read. how do we know what to read? does it matter? why does a dystopian trilogy matter if it merely describes what is happening? i suppose because of that osmotic pressure factor, to get equilibrium between the inner and outer worlds, to bridge them or unify them? but then we're still living in the fake world too, the world of obomba and his bankers. is this why i'm anxious? or is just because i'm a fuck-up?