i feared going crazy and still do sometimes but i was aware of how crazy the human paradigm is. in the past i did go crazy, and i still do sometimes, but there's crazy and there's crazy, gnome sane. i'm listening to mariana alessandri, living with dark moods. i've heard the message ad absurdam, choose happy, the power of positive thinking, and so on, my whole life. sure we can have the light, but we are also dark, as mariana says. we can't be happy always. we just have to feel, and live with our feelings. we have to finally have dignity and not try to escape reality.