lulu's back. she was in a backyard with two other dogs and she got the habit of freedom, which is a good habit to have, but she's not ready for freedom outside the yard. as she pulled i sympathized, though i was tensed, and i wished she could be free. with that contained freedom she lost the habit of cooperating on the leash, and of connecting with the person on the other end. i always feel kind of dumb on leash, and i can imagine a smart dog would too, since we both want to relax and be free. though she is smart, being off leash requires more than smarts, it requires the invisible connection the leash obviates. we have to get that connection back. we have to be partners in anticipated freedom, we have to start again at the beginning, with the harness, the leash, and treats. i think of mister but i know there's no comparison. with mister i had to search for my instinct, and he had to find his, and we had to join them together in this strange unnnatural environment. but he was older at the beginning, and it was clear that he was already ready and was better and calmer off leash. and he's a golden. i'm not sure if and when there might be a point when lulu is ready. she's still at least six months shy of mister's age when we began. 
i've been mentally disheveled this season too. i'm not as sharp as i wish i was. i get annoyed easily, i get too little sleep, and i'm dark and annoyingly sullen. all that we are with people we are with dogs too, though we try to click into dog mode. they feel our feelings more than we do. so we work with our annoyances and discrepancies, our weaknesses and strengths, all at once and while pausing in action we hope to reflect.